Saying 'I need help with the dishes' to your spouse is far better than saying 'you are so lazy.' Asking 'why are you always on your phone at dinner?' is not as helpful as expressing that you miss the connection that being with your partner brings when they don't bring their phone to the dinner table.

Today, Robert and Sharla are sharing a three-step formula for reducing marital conflict by giving those conversations that we often end up having a more gentle start. How to have constructive conflict is the key to being in a committed relationship because, after all, being 'all in' means saying 'I love you too much to keep this problem hidden.'

Learn about the first of eight predictors for divorce, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the three-step formula to reframing conflict, and how to deal with one (hypothetically) difficult mother-in-law coming over for dinner. This episode of Master Your Marriage teaches us how to express how we feel, about what, and state what we need, in a positive form. Asking your partner to take positive action regarding your concern is a way to be heard, and one of the first steps toward building a strong, lasting relationship. 

 "The difference between a complaint and criticism is this: complaints are focused on the issue, but criticisms are focused on the person and their character. ~ Robert Snow

 "Criticism typically gets met with defensiveness, and that gets met with more defensiveness until someone ends up stonewalling and sitting in silence." ~ Sharla Snow